Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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