i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
