mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
