I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i drank out of a bidet.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
