Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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