The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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