shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
