Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I have demons in me.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize