I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He shit in the fireplace
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
