I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
