How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
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I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
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Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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