ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
