i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
