i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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