my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize