i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
