Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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