i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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