i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
