This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
