Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
