Umm I'm too high to move.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
