Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
