There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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