names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
