Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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