i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
