I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
