YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
