Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
