Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
