Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
