How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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