Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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