thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
