she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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