Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
this just has baby written all over it
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize