Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
