all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
