Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
