Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
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