spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just want to make out with him forever
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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