my sisters under your porch take her home
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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