Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
