Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
