Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
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I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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