ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
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It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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