I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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