he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
