the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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