even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
