I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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