Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
