there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
