What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
