Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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