I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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