we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
A bitchslap is in order.
tell me about the eggs
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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