just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
