oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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