Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
third nipple confirmed
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
