roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
