Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
